Whether you’re moving down the street, across the state, or halfway around the world, you’re bound to experience lots of changes when you move into your first dorm or apartment. But odds are, you won’t be living alone. Nope, you’ll be sharing your room with a complete stranger: your college roommate.
Living with someone you don’t know can be a blessing or a curse. You might end up with a fabulous roommate who also has a secret obsession with Britney Spears, wants to rush a sorority (which has been your dream since like, ninth grade!), and is generally interested in the same things you are. However, you might also get stuck living with someone from a completely different universe than you. Either way, you’re living with this person for at least nine months, so making it work with them will definitely be worth your while. Here are some general tips when it comes to getting along with that stranger sharing your space.
Realize you don’t have to be best friends. As awesome as it is to meet your roommate and instantly click with them, it isn’t a necessity. You don’t need to swap clothes and have selfie photoshoots with your roomie to post on Instagram and Facebook – save that stuff for your best buds! When it comes to being roommates, respect is key – friendship is not.
Set the ground rules. The most important, and easiest, way to ensure a positive roommate experience is to talk about and possibly write down the rules of the house (or dorm, or apartment). Discuss your sleeping patterns, your cleanliness, and any other strange habits you might have. Some ideas to consider when writing “house rules”:
What can you borrow? List certain items that your roommate can not borrow under any circumstances, like your favorite $80.00 Urban Outfitters dress or your Chi hair straightener. Then, decide what you can share. Don’t mind if your roommate eats your Olive Garden leftovers or grabs a few bobby pins from your dresser? Let her know.
When can you have visitors? In college, you and your roomie will probably have very different, conflicting schedules. Make sure you talk about when it’s okay to have visitors. If your roomie has a 7:45 class Wednesdays and Fridays and you want to chill with your friends till the early morning hours, you should let her know and see if that will bother her. Another big issue when it comes to roomies:
Boys. If your roommate is uncomfortable with guys being in the room (especially at awkward times, like after showering or when getting ready for a night out), you should respect her. Also, set rules when it comes to boyfriends. Can he stay the night? If so, how often – and under what circumstances? If your roommate is uncomfortable shacking up with your dude on a nightly basis, respect that and plan to spend time with your man during daylight hours.
When/where do you want to study? If your roomie prefers to study in the room versus the library or study lounge, set specific study/quiet hours. That way, you will both know when the room needs to be quiet and you can plan other events accordingly.
Who is going to clean what? Especially if you’re sharing an on-campus apartment or other larger living space, the place will inevitable get messy. Set up a cleaning schedule, rotating each week (so that way no one gets stuck cleaning the uber-disgusting kitchen or gross bathroom sink twice in a row!). Also, make sure each roommate agrees to clean up after herself – you don’t need to feel responsible for throwing out your roomie’s week-old McDonald’s leftovers.
Plan fun things to do together. In order to keep the peace and possibly make a new friend, make an attempt to get to know your roommate on a more personal level. How about having a picnic dinner every Sunday or watching your favorite shows on T.V. together? Roommate bonding moments are sure to add harmony to your living situation and help you to see your roommate as a human being with her own unique feelings and ideas about life. Getting to know her can help you see to better understand her and the way she lives.
Lastly, if you can’t stand the situation, get out. Many campuses allow you to switch dorm rooms if your situation becomes unbearable. As much as you’d like to make it work, sometimes you just can not live with a certain person. Check with your school about how you can transfer to another room. Don’t feel bad – you are paying just as much as the other person to live in that room, so you should both feel comfortable, safe, and respected.
