So you stayed out a little late last night doing things your parents would not approve of, but now it’s time for class. There’s not much you can do to cure that raging hangover other than two take a few Advil and pray you can keep them down, but you can at least make yourself look like and smell like you didn’t spend all night downing Bud Light.
First of all, if you are too lazy to take a shower every day, I would recommend that you invest in some baby wipes. Sure they don’t look like something a lady’s man like yourself would have sitting on the back of his toilet that he never cleans, but they really come in handy. You can then use them to wipe off parts of your body that are prone to sweating a little more than the rest of you (you know where I’m talking about).
Or you can just squeeze any of the brands of body wash that you see on any of those stupid commercials marketed towards males into your hand and have a dry-run with it on your dirtiest body parts. (This also applies to girls who like to party; just choose a girly scent.) If you plan on not showering every day, you may also want to invest in some clinical strength deodorant and some Odor Eaters foot spray (or you can just spray deodorant on your feet if you’re desperate). The best cure for smelly feet, however, is to get rid of your smelly old sneakers and buy some new ones, with which you will always wear socks.
You at least need to rinse off your face, but if you’re too lazy to even do this and your skin is looking a little oily, blot it off with some oil absorption sheets. Girls can also buy those fancy face wipes if they know they’ll be too lazy to wash off their makeup from the night before the next morning. Speaking of girls, guys definitely have it easier when it comes to their ‘beauty’ regimens, and it can take a lot more time and effort for a girl to get ready. Baby powder comes in really handy for girls with oily hair (guys can usually get by with oily hair by just adding a little gel to it and styling it).
Just brush the baby powder onto the roots of your hair with an old makeup brush and comb it through (if you don’t have any baby powder, loose face powder works, too). You’ll still probably want to pull your hair back, but it will look a lot better without all that oil. Wide headbands are also a great way to hide ultra-oily roots. As for doing your makeup, all you really need are these four essentials: mascara, concealer, bronzer, and a light-colored lip gloss.
Just use the concealer to cover up any zits that popped up overnight from sleeping in your makeup and put on a little mascara and lip gloss. The bronzer then does double-duty on your eyelids and your cheeks. It’s a fast makeup routine; it’s simple, and it will leave you looking at least a little refreshed.
Now onto clothes. College students hate washing clothes (because it often requires hauling them off to a Laundromat), so here are some tips for keeping your dirty clothes a little fresher for a little longer. First, Downy Wrinkle Releaser is great for clothes that you leave buried in piles on the floor. Just keep spraying until the wrinkles are “released”. Febreze is also great for college students because you can just spray it all over everything so your place doesn’t smell like the garbage dump it is. If you have a washer and dryer, you could also throw your clothes in the dryer for a few minutes with a scented dryer sheet to freshen them up and get some of the wrinkles out.
Now all you need to do is spritz yourself with some body spray and perfume or cologne; forego brushing your teeth (but be sure to at least use mouthwash and chew a lot of gum all day), and you’ll feel and look as fresh as a daisy. (You’ll also be helping the environment by not wasting water on daily showers and washing clothes.)
Hope these tips have helped you to get the most out of being lazy. (It is a lot of work to be lazy, after all!) But I will leave you with one final rule: the longest you should ever go without showering is 3 days, max. Anything beyond that, and you’ll feel, look, and smell like a living dumpster.
